Reality TV: ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

If you know me, you know I love reality TV. For others in my life, especially my fiance' HATES, hates hates the fact I watch reality TV. So this post is to discuss why I like it,and argue their side. Just the other day I had a friend tell me "Dez, WHY, why do you watch reality TV? You are such an intelligent girl, I expected better! Did you know you actually lose IQ points every time you watch it!?"

Ok, this statement is bogus. I am WICKED SMAHT.


But here is what I have compiled that reality TV is the anti-christ to my friends and family.


1. Just stupid young kids getting drunk and acting stupid
2. It teaches you nothing positive
3. Everything is a reality TV show, making any lame-ass a star
4. It makes viewers materialistic
5. There is nothing REAL about reality TV
6. The worst parts and behaviors of human being are embodied in these 'stars'
7. The scripts they follow are to degrade and humiliate them


So, I'm sure there is more to add to this list. But lets break down the definition of Reality TV. There are shows made for pure voyeurism, Real World, Road Rules, Big Brother, the Hills, Real Housewives of OC, Real Housewives of NY, The Two Corey's, My Fair Brady, Miami Ink, and LA Ink etc..... Yes, these shows are crazy stupid. And I will admit, I did watch SOME of them. And if there is nothing on besides Pokemon and Dr. Phil, I will flip one of these bad boys on. Why? Because nothing is better to me than realizing I have made some really good choices in my life by watching these people flush opportunities down the toilet. It's a little egotistical, yes, watching people make bad choices, whether scripted or not. But it teaches me that that life with cameras = bad choices squared. Fighting in a bar and getting arrested, taking naked pictures of myself and another female for my homophobic husband or divorcing my millionaire husband and go drinking with my 16yr old daughter in LA's hottest night clubs. But the main purpose = ENTERTAINMENT. Who says entertainment can't just be brain sludging half hours of ridiculous indulgence? What exactly is 'professional wrestling'? And as for the tattoo shows, it is something I identify with. my fiance' is a tattoo artist, I worked at a tattoo shop, all my friends are tattoo artists. It fun to see how other shops run. And this is = COMPARABLE IDENTIFICATION.


So, onto the next classification of Reality TV: Competitive Challenge /Game Shows Examples: Rock of Love 1 & 2, Real World/Road Rules Challenge Gauntlet, Flavor of Love, I Love New York, Charm School, Fear Factor, Big Brother, Survivor, Bachelor and Bachelorette..I can go on and on. These are shows that make stupid people do stupid things. Hilarious. Might as well be America's Funniest Home Videos. Eat bull penis, wrestle in baby-oil, actually have to TOUCH New York from Flavor of Love...but they all have a purpose. Win the 'love' of said celebrity, or win a hunk of cash. It's a 12-15 episode series of a Game shows, and sure drama unfolds, but that's just a bonus. But SOMEONE is going win, and you watch everyone squirm and perform ungodly acts of betrayal. Perhaps teaching you the warning signs of the money-hungry side of human behavior. Scary, yes, probably not best if watched by pessimistic human-haters (IE: "Everyone sucks, I hate all people". But it makes me value my friends who don't treat me this way. Not that I should be comparing these people to my friends, but there are some shady characters in the world, and if you notice some personality traits that you have observed on VH1, you report your sketchy BFF to Bret Michaels and let them get an STD. These types of reality shows are fun to get involved in. You root for your favorite player, Go Team Amber GO! But they get old reeeeealy quick. Like a Spin-off off a spin-off, off a spin-off, off a spin-off, off a spin-off,? Flavor of Love - Flavor of Love II - I Love New York- I Love New York II - That's Amore (with Domenico a reject from I Love NEW YORK II). Enough already! I get it!! View sparingly, you could hurt yourself.

FINALLY and more importantly the best category of reality TV= EDUCATIONAL VIEWING. Shows like The Dog Whisperer, Nanny 911, Intervention, Ghost Hunters, It's Me or the Dog, What not to Wear, Extreme Home Make-Over. I can, have and will continue to watch these shows till I die. Or until they stop showing them. Training your dog, dressing properly, tips on child behavior modification, giving poor people brand new houses!!? C'MON!!!! How does this lower my IQ? No offense, but not all my friends are experts in these categories, so there is only so much you can learn, and why not via TV? I don't want to read all the damn time about things that may not interest me enough to invest in a $200 book! Seeing it in action, watching what seems to me pretty valid and realistic human reactions. Intervention is the only show on the face of the planet that makes me tear up! Watching people make the right choice, some succeed, some don't, some even die. But people agree to be documented. And in this type of series, how is this different from other documentaries? Controversial, duh, but educational. Perhaps giving others the confidence to confront people that may be hurting themselves. Also, comparable identification. As well as the Dr. Drew Celebrity Addiction show. I feel it gave reality shows a bad rep. Sure these were famous people but they were struggling to very REAL situations.


Soooooooo in conclusion. 3 classifications of Reality TV:

1. Pure Voyeurism
2. Competitive Challenge / Game Shows
3. Educational Viewing


My take on reality TV is this: Why the bad rep? Watching TV is watching tv. Reality or Not. Not good for you no matter how long you watch it. Is the arguement of being dedicated to a specific show, like HOUSE, you are drawn in by character development, and you can't wait to see next weeks episode? Like Sex and the City (one of my top shows, if not #1) you think that life style is realistic? It is a fantasy of all 20-50 something ladies in love with the characters. You think X-Files is reaching you something any different than the Dog Whisperer? Or CSI: Miami any better than Rock of Love? Probably not. Main point, it's just television programming. But if 'reality' is already claimed to be fake, then how different is it from a scripted series?


And there are certaintly different levels of adoration. I prefer to stick to the education stuff, very specific game challenges, and the occasional voyeurism project. Is reality TV the idiots version of reading? No. I read much more often then I watch reality TV. I'm not an idiot, I just love my guilty pleasure. And it's better than polishing off another pint of Ben and Jerry's.


So, for the future, if we happen to be channel surfing together, keep your comments to yourself about "Oh Dez, I bet you'd love to see this girl beat up that one and wrestle in the mud for a million dollars" No. I don't. I am a responsible mutual TV watcher, and I respect others who watch TV with me. We can find something to watch together. Just keep your comments to yourself, and I will enjoy my filthy dirty habit of reality television in the privacy of my lonesome time...and then you take me to Intervention and ask me to go to 'Reality TV Rehab'....



Thanks :)




Next Week on..."I LOOOOOVE Dez" : Her boyfriend throws the TV out the window and Dez has a seizure due to reality TV withdrawals, what is her fate? Will she ever teach her dog how to fetch? Will she ever know how to change a diaper? Will she ever get her chance with Bret???

Vegan = FAIL

UPDATE: July 13th

Not only did I not make it an ENTIRE week, I didn't even pick it up again! I went to NYC to visit my Maid of Honor, who NOW may be demoted to Flower Girl since she forced me to eat meat. She said, and I quote "Why are you vegan the week you decide to visit me!? No, not happening, I'm going to crack you and make you eat meat" And the biatch got me. She liquored me up and took me to a her bf's house party. I'm having a grand ole time, my judgement skills have been tampered with, and she brings me a plate of chicken wings. Without even realizing that CHICKEN WINGS = meat, I tear into those suckers like they were piles of money. And she stands back and cackles as she has finally captured my vegan soul and brought me back to the dark side...followed by "I told you so".

So, much to my shagrin, everyone who said "I told you so" was correct, that I could not go vegan. BUT, since I'm stubborn as an ox, I'm sure I'll try it again. And Vegan is something that dedicated individuals who hate life and tasty treats such as dead chicken limbs covered in hot sauce can actually put this life style into affect. I, on the other hand, cannot. But vegetarian sounds something I could totally do. And for the most part, I stick to fruits and veggies, with the exception of my 4th of July BBQ with burgers and hot dogs...mmmmmdead-cow-patties....*drool*

And as for that book Skinny Bitch, I'm starting to doubt more and more. It says you shouldn't eat breakfast until you actually hungry, and there are no scientific studies that prove you have to eat breakfast in order to lose weight. And for me, I can usually go without breakfast and then I get hungry around 1-2pm.

But, as the ER Dr. informed me when I wound up passing out at work because I honest-to-god forgot to eat (none of this anorexic crap, you've seen my booty, this girl does not starve herself for fun)he told me if you stop eating around 9pm at night, then you go to sleep, wake up at 9am, that's 12 hours of not eating. Then you wait till 2pm to finally eat, that it 5 more hours. So you are going 17 hours straight without eating, which is terrible for your metabolism and might as well be stuffing your face with twinkies and McDonalds because it is no better for you.

So, it is no easy task to go from a negligent-meal-skipper workaholic to a healthy soy-bean love'n veggie head. So I've decided to do the responsible thing. Eat what I want, in moderation of course, and work out...every....single....day...... And you know what, since I've quit my work-aholic enabling job, I've had the time and energy to work out, every single day. And even better...I've already lost 10lbs. By still eating what I want and then making sure I sweat for at least 45 minutes. It's much easier than saying good bye to bread, cheese and more importantly...chicken wings. But don't forget your fruits and veggies, they really are your energy source! Reducing my stress has stabilized my cortisol levels, and has helped me make smart choices about food. I have also cut out Starbucks, not just good for the thighs, but good on the WALLET. I still love it, and maybe 2 times a month I'll get it. That includes Dunkins'!

And I totally cheat with my favorite product on the market. A study will probably come out soon and tell me it causes cancer, but as of right now, I use it if I just don't have it in me to get up and work out. 5-Hour energy. It never once has made me crash, and it's just 200% of your daily supply of vitamins. Has a small amount of caffiene and no guarana or aspartime. Use it sparingly, they sell it at CVS and 7-11 and just about every where. And FYI, I don't have a gym membership. I just run around and play outside or go for a bike ride, so save your money if you can! I recommend a stability ball, 20 bucks at city sports, AMAZING to stretch out sore backs in the morning! And a yoga mat and free on demand yoga on comcast!